Life Changing Moments: Courting Your Intentions, The MD Coaches Staff

jodyhanks
Jan 1, 2024
2 min read

Updated: Feb 4, 2024

As 2023 draws to a close, the New Year is traditionally a time for people to consider a new start.

This week, Dr. Dael speaks with a panel of physician coaches from MD Coaches about why new year resolutions have difficulty sticking, and offers some ideas about how to reframe this practice to experience more success.

And, if you find yourself needing assistance in determining your next direction in 2024, it might be time to give us a call. Visit us at https://www.mymdcoaches.com

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In just 90 minutes, our VIP Live Roundtable will answer your questions and be the lifeline that helps your patients put together an effective caregiving plan.Find out more at Jeanniedougherty.com and click on Conference for Caregivers VIP.

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For more information about Dr. Rick Zollinger, please see his MD Coaches Bio Page.

For more information about Dr. Deb Roman, please see her MD Coaches Bio Page.

For more information about Dr. Carla Rotering, please see her MD Coaches Bio Page.

For more information about Dr. Dael Waxman, please see his MD Coaches Bio Page.

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Access the Show Transcript Here

LCM 34: Courting Your Intentions: The MD Coaches Team

This episode explores quantum physics, discussing superposition, entanglement, and misconceptions. Prepare for a captivating glimpse into this mind-boggling world.

2023, Dr. Dael WaxmanLife Changing Moments

Produced by Clawson Solutions Group (www.csolgroup.com)

Generated Shownotes

Chapters

0:00:00 Falling in Love with Your Goals

0:01:01 Setting New Year’s Resolutions: The Power and Pitfalls

0:03:29 Why Make New Year’s Resolutions? Insights from MD Coaches

0:07:36 The Challenges of Sticking to New Year’s Resolutions

0:09:05 Introduction to Rx for Success and MD Coaches

0:10:07 Introducing Physician Outlook: A Magazine for Physicians

0:11:17 New Year’s Resolutions: Tradition vs. Motivation

0:13:55 Overcoming Life’s Obstacles in Pursuit of Goals

0:21:17 Overcoming Hurdles with Positivity and Backup Plans

0:23:21 Setting Achievable Goals and Breaking Them Down

0:25:14 The Power of Accountability in Behavior Change

0:30:15 The importance of self-talk and self-compassion

Long Summary

In this episode of the podcast, we delve into the topic of New Year’s resolutions and behavior change. We explore the personal triumphs and failures associated with making resolutions and discuss the experiences of the MD Coaches team. One team member highlights the importance of using resolutions to evaluate life and set goals for the coming year. Another member emphasizes the excitement of new beginnings and creating a vision for the future. The third team member shares their approach of setting achievable goals and taking small steps towards them. However, we acknowledge that many people struggle to stick with their resolutions and often quit early on.

We examine the reasons why resolutions often fail, with one reason being that life often gets in the way and causes people to prioritize other responsibilities over their goals. We also highlight the significance of genuine motivation and setting achievable goals. Some individuals make resolutions out of tradition rather than a strong desire for change, which may contribute to their failure. Unrealistic goals and external validation can also hinder progress.

Throughout the episode, we discuss strategies to overcome obstacles and stay on track with goals. This involves identifying what competes with our goals and finding ways to address these challenges. We stress the importance of reflecting on how we want to show up differently in the coming year and appreciating our efforts. Adopting a mindset of “habit stacking” can help in replacing negative habits with positive ones.

To increase the chances of accomplishing goals, we suggest viewing them as experiments, breaking them down into smaller steps, and fostering accountability. We also emphasize the importance of self-compassion and flexibility when setbacks occur. We conclude by highlighting the courage required to make changes and encourage listeners to leave their comments and join the MD Coaches community.

Overall, this episode provides valuable insights and strategies for setting achievable goals and navigating behavior change. It offers a holistic approach that combines introspection, motivation, and practical steps to increase the likelihood of success.

Brief Summary

In this episode, we explore the mind-boggling world of quantum physics. We discuss phenomena like superposition and entanglement, and their implications for our understanding of the universe. We also touch on the potential of quantum computing and address common misconceptions about quantum physics. Overall, this episode offers a captivating glimpse into the mysteries of the quantum realm.

Transcript

Falling in Love with Your Goals

[0:00] So I don’t ask the impossible in the beginning, but I point to something more.

And what’s interesting to me is that as that happens, I develop this affinity for the activity that I fall in love with.

So it’s kind of courting your intention in a certain way or courting your goal in a certain way, getting to know it a little bit better and how it sits in your life and how you can be with it.

There are times in our lives that change the way we see the world.

Navigating these challenges can take insight, trusted confidants, or even a coach. Let’s explore those moments.

In this companion podcast to Rx for Success, we will discover ways to learn and write our own success stories together. I’m Dr.

Dale Waxman, a physician coach with MD Coaches, and this is Life-Changing Moments.

[0:56] Music.

Setting New Year’s Resolutions: The Power and Pitfalls

[1:01] Happy New Year, and welcome to another episode of Life-Changing Moments podcast.

You know, making New Year’s resolutions is a popular practice in our culture.

Many make them at the start of the year today as a way of hitting the reset button and striving for some sort of positive change.

While that sounds easy enough, research shows that a high percentage of resolutions are abandoned by February.

From a coaching perspective, deserting goals often gets internalized as a personal failure by the resolution maker. And that can lead to a belief that change is impossible for that person.

On the other hand, some people find at least a measure of success in achieving all or a part of their New Year’s resolution.

From a coaching perspective, this success gets internalized as a personal triumph.

[1:58] And can lead to ongoing achievement of successive goals.

You know, nothing breeds success like success. So for this episode of Life-Changing Moments, we decided to examine these phenomena in a different format than usual.

Instead of an individual guest, today we’re going to get multiple perspectives as we discuss the topic of New Year’s resolutions and behavior change in general with the entire MD Coaches team.

Almost all of us are usually thinking about something we can improve in ourselves.

Our thought here at MD Coaches is why not enhance the chances of success?

[2:35] So join me now as we garner some wisdom from my colleagues.

By way of introduction around our virtual table today, I have with me physician coaches Rick Zollinger.

Hello, Rick. Hello. We have Deb Roman.

Hello, Deb. Good morning. Our newest physician coach, Carla Rotering. Good morning.

And our director of marketing and overall communications director and just all around go-to person for everything at MD Coaches, Mariana Rotabaugh. Hello, Mariana.

Hi, glad to be here. Well, welcome all. I’m really looking forward to this conversation because I know we all have some things to say about it, some things from our own experience, as well as our experiences with friends, family, clients, as well as patients.

So let me just start with, since it is New Year’s Day, let me just start with a question for all of us.

Why Make New Year’s Resolutions? Insights from MD Coaches

[3:29] By show of hands, how many of you regularly make New Year’s resolutions?

[3:36] So three out of the five of us do that.

So one of you who responded yes to that question, can you tell us a little about why you do that on a regular basis?

So for me, it’s actually that opportunity to take a look at what’s been going on in my life and consider how I would like to create it in the coming year.

So I hallmark it with that particular date.

And I just have traditionally done that. So it’s something that’s meaningful to me.

[4:08] But there’s nothing special about that date.

It’s just a practice that I’ve habituated and an opportunity to take a look at what do I want to grow.

Grow one of the things you’re saying carla is so it can be any date but for you that’s a date that you’ve chosen uh year after year as a as a hallmark as a place to to mark where you are and where you would like to go yeah yeah great uh mariana or rick what about one of you about why you regularly make new year’s resolutions i subscribe to the not new year new me because that’s incredibly cliche cliche, but I love the idea of new beginnings.

And I love to spend New Year’s Eve entering the year as the best version of myself and create a vision board of kind of the goals I’m hoping to achieve for the new year.

It just feels like a new opportunity and a good opportunity to jump in and have a blank slate or a blank page for the year ahead.

And I definitely subscribe to that hype of creating a new plan for the next 365 days.

[5:11] Nice. So there’s a little bit of a evaluation, but there’s also this, I’m entering into a new phase and you actually sounds like you’re intentional about goal setting. Maybe. Yeah, I got you. Okay.

Rick, how about you? Well, I think it’s just a normal start to a clean slate for everybody.

The first, now you can say Groundhog Day makes you remind you stick with it.

But I learned a lesson probably 10, 12 years ago.

[5:38] In a transition where when they still had CDs, I was to list 10 goals.

And then I was to listen to them in my car every day. And they were absurd goals that I set for myself.

And I will tell you, that doesn’t mean it succeeded at them, but I addressed all 10 in about three months.

And that was a lesson in, okay, you have to take baby steps and you have to stick with it.

So fast forward to the last couple of years, I’ve taken it to where I’ve learned to take baby steps and try to not say, OK, I’m going to be president of the United States.

Maybe I’m going to run for city council first. You know, in other words, break it down, but put it in writing and try to make it something that’s achievable.

Nice. And this is you’re kind of getting ahead in terms of some suggestions. Sorry. No, that’s fine.

That’s great. Right. This is really helpful because one of the things that we know is that by the research shows that by February, most people aren’t still engaged.

In fact, research shows that 23 percent of people quit their resolution by the end of the first week of January.

[6:51] Forty three percent quit by the beginning of February and only nine percent of people actually complete the resolutions that they made. And there’s reasons for that.

But what I want to point out is what the three of you have already said is it sounds like you all have learned something about what works for you.

You do mark New Year’s Day as a marker for doing something to improve yourself.

But you’ve all over the years learned what works. What are some of the key ingredients that help?

So we’re going to get into more of that in a moment. But what I’d like to ask all of you is what are some of your thoughts about why the New Year’s resolutions themselves in general not work so well?

The Challenges of Sticking to New Year’s Resolutions

[7:36] I think life gets in the way. You know, they go back to family and raising their kids and going to work.

And you might have the goal of going to the gym, losing weight and all those things go away.

I had a quote here I was going to give you. It said Thomas Edison, 1900.

He said the trouble with most people is they quit before they start. I think about that.

That’s pretty much what we’re just saying. I think that’s the hard part. It’s internal.

You have to really want to achieve whatever it is. So how do you personally break that down into something that’s an achievable goal for you?

Whatever that is, you know?

[8:12] Are you a doctor struggling to provide the best care for your patients while dealing with financial and caregiving matters out of the scope of your practice?

Do you find yourself scrambling to keep up with the latest resources and wish there was an easier way?

Then this virtual caregiver conference will save you time, money, and sanity by giving you all the resources and information your patients need in one place.

This conference helps you and your patients enlist the best strategies around healthcare resources and the best financial steps for your patients while navigating caregiving situations.

You don’t have to go home feeling frustrated and helpless because you couldn’t connect your patients with the best services.

Find out more at rxforsuccesspodcast.com slash conference or click the link in the show notes.

We look forward to seeing you at the the Caregiver Conference.

Introduction to Rx for Success and MD Coaches

[9:05] Hi, I’m Rhonda Crowe, founder and CEO for MD Coaches.

Here on Rx for Success, we interview a lot of great medical professionals on how they grew their careers, how they overcame challenges, and how they handle day-to-day work.

I really hope you’re getting a lot of great information.

But if you’re looking for an answer to a specific problem, management or administration challenge, or if you’re feeling just a bit burnt out, like maybe you chose the wrong career, well, then there’s a faster way to get the help you need.

No, it’s not counseling. It’s coaching.

Rx for Success is produced by MD Coaches, a team of physicians who have been where you are.

I know you’re used to going it alone, but you don’t have to.

Get the support you need today. day. Visit us at mymdcoaches.com to schedule your complimentary consultation.

Again, that’s mymdcoaches.com because you’re not in this alone.

Introducing Physician Outlook: A Magazine for Physicians

[10:07] We’ll get back to our interview in just a moment. But right now, I want to tell you a little bit about Physician Outlook.

If you haven’t discovered this remarkable magazine, please do so very soon.

It was created by physicians for physicians to showcase the intersection between clinical and non-clinical interests.

Whether it’s writing, painting, cooking, politics, and dozens of other topics, Physician Outlook gives a physician perspective. It’s available online and in print.

It’s really unique among physician lifestyle magazines.

And like the Prescription for Success podcast, Physician Outlook amplifies the voice of any physician who has something to say. It also engages patients who still believe in physician-led, team-based care.

And Prescription for Success listeners can get three months free when you enter our promo code RX4SUCCESS and select the monthly option at checkout.

That’s a really great deal on this stunning publication.

And now let’s get back to today’s interview. you.

New Year’s Resolutions: Tradition vs. Motivation

[11:17] One of the things I’ve read in preparing for this was that some people just sort of see New Year’s, it’s a tradition to make a New Year’s resolution, but it’s more of a tradition than it is.

I’m motivated to make a change about myself. And because it’s just traditional, there’s not a whole lot of motivation, as you shared, Rick, behind it.

It’s just like, this would be nice if I did blank, if I walked more or whatever.

And so because it’s kind of a tradition rather than an internal, I really want to change, maybe some of the reason why they tend to fail for a lot of people.

[11:54] Carla, were you about to say something? Yeah. First of all, I think Rick pointed to something that is epidemic, especially in our profession, and that is that we choose really big goals.

You know, I’m going to be six inches taller by March or something equally plausible, right?

Right. So really being realistic about what it is that we’re inviting ourselves to, I think is really important.

But there are a couple of other things that occur to me, if I might.

One is, what is driving this intention to change?

Is it something that will help me gain favor in the eyes of the world?

Or is it something that’s really true inside of my heart?

So what is really driving me towards this change that I claim to be pointing towards?

And then the other piece that has been really important to me is, am I looking at something that’s negative that I need to get better?

Or am I really looking at positive growth, something that can call me forward?

Mariana talked about being the best version of myself that I can be in these next 365 days.

And so I think that that’s also an important part of it. And then what is in competition with what I say I want?

[13:10] So if I have an extrinsic goal, like I want to lose 30 pounds, What’s in competition with that particular extrinsic goal that I love to eat, my social world is this, this is the way that I manage my emotional tasks?

Content. So I think that those are things that are really worthy of consideration as we walk towards that frontier of January 1st. Yeah, very nice, Carla.

One of the things you pointed out is that what’s in competition with that goal, and that sort of gets back to what Rick was saying about life can get in the way.

So I wonder if you all have some thoughts about how do you prepare Prepare for those life gets in the way moments. How do you, what do you do?

Overcoming Life’s Obstacles in Pursuit of Goals

[13:55] So Carla, what you’re saying is identify what’s in competition with it.

And then life gets in the way. How do we meet that so that we can still be on track with our goals?

How do we meet life gets in the way? Deb, do you have any thoughts about that?

I really like what you said, Carla. I feel like when I listen to the three of you and the reasons that you do it, it is based in something very different than I’m too heavy. I need to lose weight.

It’s more like you’re really reflecting on your lives and you’re saying, you know, how do I want to show up differently this year? What’s important to me?

[14:30] And I think so often it is very negative.

The judgment that we place on people, it’s like I need to lose weight or I need to exercise exercise or I need to get my finances in order because there’s something wrong with me, because there’s something wrong with the way I’m doing it.

Instead of, let me just think a little bit about, you know, where I want to be next.

And before we get to the barriers, I think that the other piece that you guys all alluded to is taking the time to really think about what we’ve done well.

That’s so So sometimes skipped and we go straight to this is what’s wrong with me and I need to fix it.

So I’m going to lose 10 pounds by this day instead of, you know, let me take the year and think about what went well. How did I grow?

[15:21] What did I really appreciate? Because I think in order to look at the barriers, Dale, I think you have to have the foundation of not feeling threatened by the process.

And if the process is not something that makes you feel safe and valued, then it’s hard to look at the things that are getting in the way, because we don’t feel grounded in that process.

So I often say say to patients, when they come to the office, I’ll say, you know, if you go home, and you’ve done none of the things that we talked about that you’ve really felt like you wanted to do and felt like they were in your, in your wheelhouse, please don’t not come back.

There’s obviously a reason that that didn’t happen.

And that’s when we start to get to the barriers like, you know, so actually, you know, I hate exercising.

So, you know, can we find a different way, You know, that kind of thing is what they’ll say to me.

And I’m like, well, yeah. Is there another movement that would work?

So then you can get to it. But there has to be that you’re doing a good job and there’s a lot to navigate here.

And let’s think about what you’ve done well. And then what do you think you want to try next?

[16:34] To me, that seems like an important piece going forward.

You know, you’ve all alluded to it. Well, the key words I took away from both you and Carla was the negativity.

So it’s a positive thought. So if you want to get rid of a negative habit, you have to replace it with a positive habit.

I’ve mentioned to Dale before that book, Atomic Habits by James Clear, which, If you haven’t got it, read it. But it’s about changing for the good.

And one of the simplest things he has, he calls it stacking.

So take some habit that you do every day. It could be brushing your teeth, but something you really like to do rather than brushing your teeth.

Read a book, whatever it is. And the thing you want to change, immediately follow it up, that good habit, with the thing you want to change and go do that.

So if it’s you want to exercise, then go walk for five minutes.

Go outside your house. just five minutes, but do it every day after you do that good thing.

And then you’ll find you’re going to go, well, heck, I can walk for 10 minutes. I enjoy this.

And then after a month or six weeks, it’s a habit.

And so you’ve taken a good thing with a good thing. So rather than pair a negative thought, pair it with a positive thought going forward, especially in our world today.

I think the more positive things we can relate to, and this is a good group for that. that. So nice.

[17:53] Yeah, Deb, but one of the things that you when you were talking, what it was making me think is, the word intention came up, it’s like, there’s the, there’s the goal, you know, like, I want to exercise more, but then there’s also, there’s the intention.

It’s like, what is it that I’m after here? You know, what is it?

What is it that I’m really wanting to be different for myself.

And when you’re coming from intention, I believe when you’re coming from intention, intention, whatever you do is for your own learning about yourself.

I think what you, the way you phrased it was so beautiful, which is if you don’t do the things we discussed, come back anyway, because you’ve learned something.

You’ve learned something by, you know, because you don’t like walking or whatever it is, it’s still learning.

And so you adjust from there, but it’s sort of like, it starts with, I’m going to use the word intention.

You said it more eloquently but it starts with that and then from there it’s it’s all learning well said, Well, I try hard to encapsulate what you’re all saying.

So, you know, so let’s talk about that.

You know, the barriers or expecting obstacles, because does anybody has anybody on this call ever made a behavior change? You did not encounter an obstacle.

[19:14] No. I mean, so how do we meet those in a way that can be helpful?

Well, I’m going to share that one of my favorite books is a book called Experiments Never Fail.

And it’s written by a guy named Dale Daughton. And it’s a great little book because it really says, if you consider that you’re just in an experiment, right?

And you can’t fail at an experiment. It either points you in this direction or it course corrects you in a different direction through the feedback that you get through this experiment.

So, for me, having that kind of mindset is I’m testing to see what works here and testing to what takes me in the direction I want to go.

That’s a phrase I use a lot. I’ve probably said it 10 times already.

But, you know, but sort of that helps me along the path that I’m wanting to walk.

So, using it as an experiment rather than a really structured, confining, unrelenting process that I will inevitably fall short, in which I will inevitably fall short.

[20:27] So, within that frame, Carla, if you are looking at this as an experiment, obstacles or barriers may not even be the right language. Yeah, it’s just information.

Data new findings new findings new findings i just love that i love that that thinking that way of thinking about it and and each time we course correct you know there’s an opportunity to kind of celebrate oh wow i noticed that that was really not where i wanted to go with this this is where i want to go with this and and maybe even you know being able to kind of sit Sit with that for a moment and appreciate the fact that you were able to, first of all, notice it, but then you had the courage and the flexibility to pursue something different.

So I love that way of thinking. I think that’s beautiful.

Overcoming Hurdles with Positivity and Backup Plans

[21:17] Well, I would say, Mariana, you’ve dealt with hurdles and make us all proud.

So tell us how you dealt with that.

Nothing personal, just how you’ve dealt with those hurdles over the last year.

So I was thinking like we set these goals in the beginning of the year.

We have all this positivity.

And then if we don’t have the plan to execute it.

And then, of course, as we say, life happens. And not to overthink it, but if I get really busy in March, Can I still stick with this goal that I have and having a backup plan for that?

And then I lean into a lot of positivity, which I love.

And I’m really excited to reframe some of my goals for the following year to make sure that they’re not based on deficits, like things that are wrong with me and making them better.

They encapsulate all of that. I would say the only other piece would be to choose a word or a mantra that’s your intention for the year. And that’s a great way to get over any kind of hurdles that you have.

Whether the word is intentional, you’re going to be more intentional or just have intentional in the forefront of your mind. Or maybe it’s joy.

Joy is your mantra for the year. Just picking one word and maybe writing it down and having it present when you experience those hurdles and challenges or when you stray from your vision to remind you this is…

[22:42] Attention well said yeah thank you it’s beautiful i wonder before we go on with you know on other ways of um being successful once you’re engaged in behavior change um i want to go back to something you said carla which is appropriateness or the the is it rational is it achievable an achievable goal you know i’m thinking smart goals right so is this actually achievable and And we tend as humans, and I think what you pointed out, and especially in the healthcare professionals, physician group, we tend to be a little bit unrealistic with what’s achievable.

Setting Achievable Goals and Breaking Them Down

[23:21] What are some of your thoughts about how to select something that is actually achievable?

How do we avoid trying to grow six inches when we know that we can’t do that?

Break it down into baby steps. So can you give me an example, Rick? Well, I mean, I gave you the example of last year for me, I used this app called Noom to lose like 35, 40 pounds.

And what the intent was, it broke it down into a daily thing where you had to record how much water you drank. Did you exercise?

Did I eat? If I ate chocolate, I had to tell them I ate chocolate or had a beer, you know, all those things. But it basically, it made me break it down into things.

And I knew if I skipped one, it was like six steps. And I knew if I skipped a step, it didn’t make me feel good.

[24:09] So the next day, I didn’t skip that step, you know, or I’d make up for it.

And so I was, I guess the key word I would use there with Marianna’s words was accountability.

It made me self-accountability, which I’m not real good at.

I’m pretty much a, you know, wild man. So to be accountable that way was to myself was.

[24:30] Very cool. Made me feel good. It was positive. As long as we’re talking about accountability, I do want to come back to this other one.

But talking about accountability, that also seems to be one of the ingredients for improving the chances of actually accomplishing the goal.

And it can come in lots of different forms.

For you, Rick, it sounds like you set it up to be accountable to self.

And also you had this app to actually record things. And that was your way of being accountable.

[24:57] Anybody else use accountability in different ways? I’ll give one.

So I have a good friend who is a meditation teacher and he with vulnerability said, I have to tell you, my own meditation practice is not very regular.

The Power of Accountability in Behavior Change

[25:14] And I just want to say that out loud, but I want it to become more regular.

And would you be willing to be my accountability partner for us to check in with each other each week?

We’ll each week talk about what our goals are for how many times you want to sit for meditation this week.

And then we touch base with each other each week to talk about our progress.

And so, it was also a goal that I had. So, that was another way we…

So, we just texted each other each week for… I think we did this for about six months.

And that was great because I would literally get up in the morning and go like, well, this is my time to meditate.

And I do have to check in with Scott later this week. So, I guess I’m going to do it this morning because I want to get my numbers up.

I want to meet what my goals were for myself. So that was how I used an accountability partner.

[26:03] Let me go back to achievable goals though, because what you said, Rick, you said you kind of break it down into small chunks.

I wonder if breaking something down into a small part is a place to begin so that you may have the goal of, I don’t know what your goal is.

You said you’d lost about 35, 40 pounds.

That might’ve been your goal when you started, but it may have been something even simpler than that.

Like, I just want to, I want to lose one pound in the next six months.

I don’t know what it was. But anybody have some thoughts about that, about breaking something down to something that you just know it’s really maximized the chances of it being achievable?

Carla, you were nodding your head. Do you have a thought about that?

Yeah. So I call it three foot tosses. So if I’m going to play horseshoe, you know, I cannot throw that horseshoe to the stake at the end of the yard.

But if I throw it in three foot tosses, I will ultimately get to that stake at the end of the yard. So I call that three foot tussles.

And I do exactly what you alluded to, Dale.

I start really small. I think to myself, what one small change could make the biggest difference in my life? And then I track.

So I may say I’m going to do X if it’s, again, if it’s an outside thing, but even if it’s an internal goal that I have, I say I’m going to do this twice a week for the first month.

And then I’m going to expand that to four days a week for the next month.

[27:30] And so I don’t ask the impossible in the beginning, but I point to something more.

[27:35] I want something more. And what’s interesting to me is that as that happens, I develop this affinity for the activity or, you know, that I fall in love with.

So it’s kind of courting your intention in a certain way or courting your goal in a certain way. Getting to know it a little bit better and how it sits in your life and how you can be with it.

So that’s kind of how I do that. And I do that with patients.

Those are conversations I have with coaching clients about start where you stand and then just slowly unfold.

I love that. I love courting your intention. I just said that.

That’s got to be a quote on the website.

[28:21] Right there. I love that, too. Trade market for Carla. I love that.

Totally beautiful. I was thinking the same thing.

I love that. Yeah. I want to talk a little bit about thoughts about sustaining your.

[28:37] Behavior change. Or another way to think about this is there’s the popular term in our culture of people have made some significant change.

And then let’s say I used to hear this from patients all the time as well. I fell off the wagon.

I fell off the wagon. And we know from some behavior change literature that lapses and relapses are almost expected.

So given that they’re so common. What do you suggest to listeners about how to manage it when we experience a lapse or a relapse so that we continue to move in the direction of success?

[29:15] I think a lot of that comes back to what Carla was saying about viewing it as an experiment.

Rather than seeing it as a lapse, rather than seeing ourselves as falling off the wagon, we’re just noticing that something has changed.

You know, I think the way we start the process is the critical piece, like you said about intention, like what kind of vision we have for what we’re trying to do in this year, show up the best me, whatever it is.

And so I think taking the time to step back first to say, you know, what are some things that are really meaningful to me that I could fall in love with, right, that I really feel are important?

And then how do I walk walk into that process with enough compassion for myself and flexibility that I can say, this is going to be fun.

I’m going to see what we’re going to learn. I’m going to try to learn new things.

And I wonder where I’m going to get to by the next time.

And avoiding that language of I messed up, I failed, I fell off the wagon.

The importance of self-talk and self-compassion

[30:15] Instead, just no, I’m human. And I’m trying to figure out what really resonates for me, what I really want to connect with. it. So to me, it’s a lot of where you start from, and how you walk with yourself through that process, how you talk to yourself.

Yeah. And I’m hearing you say, be gentle and hold some self-compassion. Nice.

Thank you. This has been a wonderful conversation.

And I just want to, yeah, really fun, really nice.

I wonder, is there anything else that we haven’t talked about yet, that any of you would like to share to impart to our listeners around this issue of behavior change, habit change, resolutions that we have not covered?

Well, I think I would just like to say this. Anytime that we are willing to take the steps to shift, to make a change, that requires a certain kind of courage.

And so one of the questions that I love to share with coaching clients, with my patients, with myself is this, how will I be brave through this process?

I think it’s that, that it takes a little bravery.

[31:31] To walk this path. And it’s a good path. Great. Thank you. Thank you, Carla.

I love that. I will just add one other thing that just flashed in my memory as we were chatting.

And I read an article some years ago, it was sort of the anti-New Year’s resolution.

And what it was, was an argument for letting go of something rather than adding something else on to your life. And so the New Year’s resolution was, what do I want to let go of? What do I want to stop doing?

[32:03] Which is also a behavior change. And also life can get in the way of that.

But it’s an invitation to all of us and our listeners also to look at it that way, too.

What is something that you want to let go of?

What is it that you want to maybe simplify your life in a little bit better of a way?

Also, also a behavior change. So the key word is change, whether one way or the other.

Key word is change, one way or the other. Absolutely. Well, great.

[32:31] If there’s no other thoughts from anybody, what I want to say is thank you so much for having this conversation with me.

As many of our listeners are contemplating these things either now, today, January 1st, or any time through the year, I really appreciate it.

There’s lots of wisdom here. And as I hope listeners realize, all of us in coaching have been thinking through these things and also learning from our clients as they’re moving through their brave moments also as they move forward in their lives.

So once again, Happy New Year from MD Coaches and look forward to your comments about this particular podcast. podcast.

And once again, thank you to Carla Rotering, Rick Zollinger, Deb Roman, and Mary Anna Rotabaugh.

And hello to a couple of our team members who couldn’t be here today, Randy Cook and Rhonda Crowe.

And once again, thank you all very, very much. Thank you.

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